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Your true friends may have to take a short break from you if they are too addicted to drugs or alcohol. But remember that anyone who truly cares about you will always come back. When you’re sober, you’ll be able to form more meaningful, long-term friendships that aren’t based on alcohol-based interactions. Living a sober life is often thought to be the best thing they’ve ever done.

Because they might lose their friends, many people are afraid of getting sober. After getting sober, some of your friends will leave. Our hopes and dreams may have gotten stuffed down along the way during our descent into drugs or alcohol, too. It can be scary to confront ourselves and our dreams, and putting them off or procrastinating on them is a way to avoid putting the work in or fear of failure. When we’re sober, we may find those desires and dreams come to the surface again, prompting us to pay attention to them once again.

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Everybody is a little scared when they first get sober. Your job is to recognize the fears for what they are – little lies we tell ourselves to keep from changing. Sometimes our fears are logical, but mostly they are not. Besides, judging someone for not drinking alcohol is stupid, and you don’t need to be cool with that person anyway. In fact, this fear personally led to a dozen failures in my own sobriety journey.

Recognizing that fear is present is the first step in moving beyond it. The fear of being sober is often about dealing with your loss of a coping mechanism for “real” life. You’re afraid you don’t have the tools and resources to help you to maintain your sobriety. You are afraid that being sober will simply be too hard. It’s not hard to see why people get more done when they’re sober. When you’ve got high energy levels and lots of free time, it’s easier to stay focused on work, school, and personal projects.

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Every time you (or I) do that, we choose to suffer. You will have good days, hopeless days, and every other sort of in-between day on this journey. Here’s the thing about the word “fail.” So long as you dust yourself off and keep trying, you haven’t failed at all. People go into these big personal transformations expecting a linear progression from start to goal. Eventually, you will have to decide who to keep in your life and who to let go. That’s not going to be easy, but the alternative is to continue slowly destroying the one life you’re given.

• It’s understandable that you might feel fear of withdrawal.
• When you do start to deal with your problems in healthier ways (and you will), you are going to feel completely transformed and unstoppable.
• This is an opportunity to assert for your needs, and therefore assert your worth.
• Or maybe, on some level, you don’t believe you’re worthy of success.

Sobriety isn’t the only thing that stops people from getting what they want in life. People are afraid of failing more than anything else. People who are afraid of failing can think about what would happen if they didn’t try and what would happen if they did https://ecosoberhouse.com/ try. Finally, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to do this alone. Many professionals can help you through the process of becoming sober. These professionals can help you understand your fears and provide the tools you need to overcome them.

When is fear of change an issue?

Many of us drink because we need something to turn down the volume of the toxic shame parade running through our brains. If your friends don’t want to hang out with you unless you’re drinking, then you know where you stand with each other. For years, I worried about the impact of sobriety on my social life. I honestly did not know what people did for fun without being slightly or very drunk. Don’t let difficult decisions and conversations with loved ones be the excuse you use to keep drinking alcohol. Take the time to work with us over the next few weeks.

My biggest fears in life include being in large groups of strange people, standing at parties by myself, and really just people in general. Drunk me didn’t have to worry if I was alone at a party because drunk me didn’t abide such things. Drunk me didn’t worry if she belonged, or said the right thing, or had to have small talk because drunk me just handled that. That being said, you might not be at a place where you want people to know you’re not drinking, and that’s OK. You can provide an excuse, like that you’re on antibiotics, or you aren’t feeling great or want to feel fresh for something you have going on the next day.

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However, others striving for or in sobriety may find themselves asking “Why is sobriety so hard? ” Lifestyle modifications can be uncomfortable and perhaps even generate anger and resentment. Depending on the severity of your drinking fear of being sober problem and resulting behavior, some bridges may be forever burned. Some people may want nothing to do with you, no matter how much you change. You’re not obligated to drink just to make others feel good about their drinking.

• Yet, with the help of your team of professionals, you can work through them and find yourself in a much better place.
• They will help you to build self-confidence and allow you to realize the power you have to maintain sobriety.
• What began as a drink here or there after work soon wound up being much more than that, to the point where you could not wait to get home and get drunk.
• Later, you’ll see fear creep into your daily life through the recovery process.